The new year feels like a cool minty breeze that whispers promises of an even better year. A month or so ago, Adam and I had a long talk about who we wanted to be. More importantly, who I was being. I let myself get lazy and tired during the whirlwind that is Christmas. I promised him I would change and surprising myself more than anyone, I did. I changed the next day. I woke up and said I can be different, I can find my own energy, I can be supermom. It sounds very cheesy, like an encouraging article from Reader's Digest, but it actually happened. I guess you'd have to understand that the process of change in my mind doesn't happen overnight, it's always a long one day at a time ordeal. And while I have improved and learned more everyday, I realized that I made a choice to instantly improve the quality of my family. I would like to announce that I AM NOW AN ADULT.
Since then, which was also the night I got to wear these fab shoes...
I have been having quite the adventure in my own home.
Maverick's molars are coming in, which is truly a test of my patience. This has a snowball effect. With the molars comes a runny nose. After a bath one night I was kissing on Mav and few minutes later for whatever reason, I wiped my mouth. There was a booger on it. Instant gag. In addition to a grumpy wittle boy,the runny nose causes congestion which leads to coughing and makes us feel terrible. Baby coughing just sounds so sad if you've never heard it. The pain on his gums has left his meals hardly touched which results in a lot of gas and only one big poop a day. I don't think I can rightfully describe his gas. It's like a constant stream of hot air. While house sitting we all must inhabit the same room. Just as Adam predicted, when we snuck into the room last night to go to bed, it REEKED of fart. It doesn't even stop when he sleeps. Hence the nickname, Toots McGee.
but books before bed and Saturday mornings in bed with daddy is something we treasure.
Adam still puts up a small fight when I put my Bumble and Bumble's curl enhancing cream in Mav's hair and blow dry it. Personally, I think he looks like a charming lollipop kid.
Almost everyday we take my pint sized wrecking ball outside to do whatever his heart desires. It usually starts out with Mav making sure the golf ball pile is still intact. We then make our way to the "rocks" where he taste tests all the sticks, rocks and shells till his mouth is content (or I grab something which is just too icky to savour). We climb boulders and call the deer (Mav clicks his tongue) who wisely stay a good distance away. Our dog Jaxen makes sure the deer don't get too close to Mav. We even got to see someone toying around in a helicopter. He buzzed right over our heads while we were perched on the shore practicing our rock throwing and splash making. I usually save the swing for last because luckily for me, it makes Mav sleepy and nap time breezy.
All these changes I've made to my routine have given me a lot more extra time. Which I find funny because I'm doing so much more around the house, yet I have more time.... I've got two softies going, both are almost finished. This is my hobby and something I hope will be more one day. I find myself smiling often because my husband loves so much that I am doing these. I think because he wants me to have something that is my own. He is so supportive and enthusiastic. I always hear "babe, one day people are going to be jealous of your softies. They'll say that Cassidy is so shabby chic and artsy. You just have to start somewhere".
one of my unfinished projects
This morning my sister shuffled in (we're house sitting) around 10:30am which was expected. She offensively stank of alcohol and aged cigs. I guess she got sleep because she started to fix herself breakfast and I put my anger aside so we could just talk peacefully. There was a moment where she was searching for advice and I had a window to say something pointed and wise. I tried to think of a quote that somehow said "you can't ride both sides of the fence" or "pursuing instant pleasure and happiness doesn't promise joy or peace", but I couldn't think of anything and the moment passed. I was sad because I have been there, but I never gave up fighting for myself. I hope Shayla still has one foot in the door. My life right now is a picture of answered prayers and I want hers to depict that one day too.
So, now that the laundry is never backed up, the floors are always clean and the counters never have crusted food on them, the sound wisdom from my dad rings in my head.
"With responsibility comes freedom"
So true, so true.
