Toots McGee

The new year feels like a cool minty breeze that whispers promises of an even better year. A month or so ago, Adam and I had a long talk about who we wanted to be. More importantly, who I was being. I let myself get lazy and tired during the whirlwind that is Christmas. I promised him I would change and surprising myself more than anyone, I did. I changed the next day. I woke up and said I can be different, I can find my own energy, I can be supermom. It sounds very cheesy, like an encouraging article from Reader's Digest, but it actually happened. I guess you'd have to understand that the process of change in my mind doesn't happen overnight, it's always a long one day at a time ordeal. And while I have improved and learned more everyday, I realized that I made a choice to instantly improve the quality of my family. I would like to announce that I AM NOW AN ADULT.

Since then, which was also the night I got to wear these fab shoes...

I have been having quite the adventure in my own home.

Maverick's molars are coming in, which is truly a test of my patience. This has a snowball effect. With the molars comes a runny nose. After a bath one night I was kissing on Mav and few minutes later for whatever reason, I wiped my mouth. There was a booger on it. Instant gag. In addition to a grumpy wittle boy,the runny nose causes congestion which leads to coughing and makes us feel terrible. Baby coughing just sounds so sad if you've never heard it. The pain on his gums has left his meals hardly touched which results in a lot of gas and only one big poop a day. I don't think I can rightfully describe his gas. It's like a constant stream of hot air. While house sitting we all must inhabit the same room. Just as Adam predicted, when we snuck into the room last night to go to bed, it REEKED of fart. It doesn't even stop when he sleeps. Hence the nickname, Toots McGee.

but books before bed and Saturday mornings in bed with daddy is something we treasure.

Adam still puts up a small fight when I put my Bumble and Bumble's curl enhancing cream in Mav's hair and blow dry it. Personally, I think he looks like a charming lollipop kid.

Almost everyday we take my pint sized wrecking ball outside to do whatever his heart desires. It usually starts out with Mav making sure the golf ball pile is still intact. We then make our way to the "rocks" where he taste tests all the sticks, rocks and shells till his mouth is content (or I grab something which is just too icky to savour). We climb boulders and call the deer (Mav clicks his tongue) who wisely stay a good distance away. Our dog Jaxen makes sure the deer don't get too close to Mav. We even got to see someone toying around in a helicopter. He buzzed right over our heads while we were perched on the shore practicing our rock throwing and splash making. I usually save the swing for last because luckily for me, it makes Mav sleepy and nap time breezy.

All these changes I've made to my routine have given me a lot more extra time. Which I find funny because I'm doing so much more around the house, yet I have more time.... I've got two softies going, both are almost finished. This is my hobby and something I hope will be more one day. I find myself smiling often because my husband loves so much that I am doing these. I think because he wants me to have something that is my own. He is so supportive and enthusiastic. I always hear "babe, one day people are going to be jealous of your softies. They'll say that Cassidy is so shabby chic and artsy. You just have to start somewhere".

one of my unfinished projects

This morning my sister shuffled in (we're house sitting) around 10:30am which was expected. She offensively stank of alcohol and aged cigs. I guess she got sleep because she started to fix herself breakfast and I put my anger aside so we could just talk peacefully. There was a moment where she was searching for advice and I had a window to say something pointed and wise. I tried to think of a quote that somehow said "you can't ride both sides of the fence" or "pursuing instant pleasure and happiness doesn't promise joy or peace", but I couldn't think of anything and the moment passed. I was sad because I have been there, but I never gave up fighting for myself. I hope Shayla still has one foot in the door. My life right now is a picture of answered prayers and I want hers to depict that one day too.

So, now that the laundry is never backed up, the floors are always clean and the counters never have crusted food on them, the sound wisdom from my dad rings in my head.

"With responsibility comes freedom"

So true, so true.

Nanny has a Heart as Big as Texas

My nanny is a character.

As many other things, the way I see her has changed over the years. As I've grown more wise and kind, my perspective has too.

When I was little, she made AMAZING french toast. But she was the definition of a cat lady. So, as I would enjoy her thoughtfully prepared french toast, I also remember being afraid cat hair was going to fly and stick to the syrup pool on top. It was everywhere. And my Uncle Mike has always lived with her. As a child, he simply terrified me. He's schizophrenic. He would just carry on mumbling angrily about her apartment. In my tweens, she sweetly embarrassed me by planting stained kisses on my cheek and endlessly professing how much she loved us and how beautiful I was becoming. There are certain topics you don't bring up around her either, or you'll be pulled into a long conversation that sounds much like a rant. Politics, history, or football. And don't think for a second she's crazy, because she knows what she's talking about. She can tell you details about football games played decades ago. And the biography of the coaches. After high school I became irritated with her because I could see the stress it caused my mom to take care of her. It would make me angry when I had to watch my parents being torn between giving in to her unhealthy habits or taking a stand to do what was best for them. Kinda like the toddler years of a child.

Motherhood and marriage has really opened my eyes. I see my nanny in her true light now. My parents spent the last few years taking a lot of time building up my Uncle Mike's self-esteem, teaching them healthy eating habits and remodeling their psychological health. Real quick, let's give around of applause for everyone here. Together they have lost a total of 335 lbs with the help of my parents who persistently cheered them on to workout and managed their groceries. My mom has opened up to me about how she purposefully changed her view of her mother a few years back. Instead of a burden, she chose to see it as an opportunity to get to know her mom as a person, learn to laugh with her and be her friend. The other day Nanny told her she was her best buddy. You can actually have a conversation with Uncle Mike now. He laughs, does a lot of the household chores, works out to Sweat'n to the Oldies (with Richard Simmons) four times a week and occasionally makes a joke.

It's amazing how you can choose to think differently about something. One of the best things my husband has taught me is how to see the humor in life. Rather than being seriously embarrassed or irritated when my nanny is screeching at the UT game or trying to sneak food out for a kitty (there has to be a limit on how many cats a person can take care of), I laugh because she has enthusiasm and she always means well. My mom taught me to appreciate the more endearing qualities. When she gushes over Maverick or tells me 47 times how proud she is of me, I don't feel annoyed anymore. I'm just so grateful that my nanny loves me so much and loves my child and husband just the same. I'm grateful that she tells my parents thank you more than she needs to instead of less than she should. Nanny has unknowingly helped me to look beyond the zealous rants and see a heart that loves God and tries so hard to live a life that pleases Him. She is lovely, goofy lady.

And she LOVES Texas.

who doesn't love food

I love food.

Sweets are my biggest weakness.

After giving up addictions and then having a baby, I came to love food more than I had before.

Trust me, Adam will tell me (now) how surprised he was sometimes by the plates I would make for myself when I was pregnant. I probably sounded like an ogre when I would say "I'm gonna ENJOY my pregnancy".

I did.

So mom, you were right (again). I regret it.

I have started weightwatchers and I find myself, once again, in a meeting where I must face demons head on. Now, I don't have a problem with unhealthy foods. I was taught to eat healthy and I do. I eat too much healthy food (and candy). The point is, weightwatchers has made me move out of my cooking comfort zone to explore new recipes instead of the simple one meat, two veggie plate.

This week I made beef stuffed poblano with an apple pico and homemade baked corn chips. Adam gushed over it and so did I. It was good.

It probably tasted better 'cause I cleaned and tugged him around at the same time.

Adam would eat fried food that was all the same color everyday if he could, but I think he really appreciates the work, time, and effort I've been putting into our dinners. He never forgets to tell me how much he loves my cooking. I must admit, I don't disappoint.

So, with all this effort I have lost about 15 lbs and I have another 16 lbs to go to get to my goal weight.

I just have to start working out now.

Oh Christmas

We already miss Christmas.

(other than my family) My favorite thing about Christmas is popping in an Amy Grant christmas album.

Nobody does Christmas like Amy.

Adam's favorite thing is getting more time to cuddle up with Mav and me.
but right before Christmas this year....

Maverick had no routine whatsoever for about two weeks before Christmas. This was because of three things...

We were all over town and at Mimi's everyday.

Mav was sick from a bug and then milk.

We had no idea what to do.

Adam would ask me what I thought we should do when Mav was screaming or not eating and I just gave up with "I have no clue. I don't know what I am doing anymore". It started when Mav choked on a piece of apple. It was stuck in his throat and we had to go to the urgent care. He was so miserable and minutes after paying and a few before the doctor called us, he threw it up all over Mimi. A week later Mav got a stomach bug and gave it to 9 family members. It was at this time we were going to start the weaning, but it didn't matter because he was so sick. On the worst day of it all the poor baby fell and busted his gums. Adam freaked out from the amount of blood and I couldn't handle Mav's first bloodshed because I was already sick. So for the next two weeks we cried together almost everyday. Do you ever feel like you are just winging it?

But Christmas was right around the corner and we got a healthy Mav back just in time to make everything so special. The G-parents loaded us up with plenty of fantastic gifts and some very cool toys. Mav got the corduroy owl bean bag I had been eyeing at Target, a lawnmower, and an off road Radioflyer wagon.

The end result...

Hooray for dads who will squeeze into a wagon for a cute picture!

Adam and I saved our Christmas for later that night when we got home. We unpacked all of our gifts and put them away before we opened our gifts. I swear, it was Adam's idea. Adam has a note in his phone where he writes down things I mention all year long so he doesn't forget. So I got very thoughtful things like slippers he had bought months ago. A rolling pin. A canvas duffel ba

g. Sharpies. An outfit picked out by him from Old Navy. Nail Polish. A pore cleansing face mask. Sushi cookbook. These things are simple, but they mean so much. I have been begging for a rolling pin since I started baking a lot and whenever we travel I have to take three or four small bags. It drives me nuts. He really thinks about the things that I want and aren't necessary to survive, but would make my life easier.

So thank you sweet sweet husband. Just the thought that goes into each gift means everything.

We spent the night at my parents for New Year's Eve and ate way too much food with the Wasemillers and Kate. I discovered alcohol free champagne and made cranberry kir royale and had the last glass passed out (no joke) four seconds before "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

(don't mind Adam's face. It's his 'thing')

Amanda and I had to wake our husbands up to get a New Year kiss

.

The next morning Grandpa Goody lovingly got up with Mav at 6:45am and let Adam and I sleep in. I experimented with something I had seen on tv for breakfast. It was SO tasty and I recieved lots of raves from the family. I just took a french loaf, cut off the top and dug a lot of the bread out. Brushed it with olive oil and toasted it for about 10 min. I mixed about 20 eggs, buttermilk, italian cheeses, tomatoes, poblano,spices and the top of the loaf (cubed) and poured it in the bread boat. Baked it for about 45 mins. And topped it with cheese, so it had a nice crispy cheese top. Wonderful. God gave us some great weather on New Year's Day so we spent a couple hours outside. Dad pulled Mav around in the wagon on his bike. Yes, it was a sight to see.

the flag completes the whole arrangement

We feel so grateful to start another year together. So many memories were created this year. We had the house fire right after new year's last year. Then we were robbed. We moved out to the lake house, which turned out to be a blessing for us financially. Adam and I have definitely faced struggles this year. I'd say discipline in all aspects of life has been our biggest teacher in this first year or so of marraige. I'm just glad, that after whatever challenge we face, we look back joyfully. . . and then ahead joyfully 'cause it's over.

Here's to a joyful 2010.

Cas

Crossing the Blog Threshold

My first blog post will be about trying to blog. Apparently I can find tips about blogging, what the top blogs are, FREE layouts(I love free) and digital scrap booking. I'm not old, but sometimes I feel that way when I realize how behind I am. It is 10:45 pm and it feels like 3am. I don't even have an ipod yet. I don't even want one. I just thought I'd start a page for those who care to keep up with my family and I. Plus I thought it would be fun to add something else to my busy life. Keep an eye out for more to come as I catch everyone up on the Holdsworth's first year with a baby.